Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
