Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
