i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
