there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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