I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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