i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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