You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
