just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize