Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
