every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
