Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize