I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
