wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
