you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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