Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
