covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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