In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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