my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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