haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
