I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
