belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
