She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
