Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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