Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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