somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
