We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
