I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
