All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
