I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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