She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize