Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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