I bet he comes in French.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
