If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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