Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

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(706): View more from Georgia

That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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(410): View more from Maryland

I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

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(602): View more from Arizona

It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.

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(519): View more from Ontario

That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..

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