I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
