Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
