i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize