dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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