if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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