Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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