I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
