6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
