im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
