What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
