Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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