Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
