Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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