well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So vagazzling was a success
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
do nipples grow back?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
