talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize