i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
