A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
