is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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