First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
