For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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