I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
