Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
