just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
