Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
