i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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