at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
