i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
