is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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