sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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