remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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