Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i think my cat just said my name.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
