Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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