So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize