there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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