what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
