You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize