I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
