Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
