I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
