Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
