Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize