If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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